It’s been almost a week since my first conversation with mom. I’m trying to “speak in positives” (a GREAT phrase I heard Harry’s soccer coach use last week) so let me share some of the successes I’ve had since then.
I have called the Realtor mom worked with, and asked her to hold off on moving forward with the sale of the house for now. The Realtor is aware of mom’s diagnosis, knows that I have PoA and that the deed is not in mom’s name.
I’ve spoken to Mom’s real estate lawyer too, the attorney at the firm who drew up the quit claim deed. He would like to have a meeting with all the siblings, including mom, either via conference call or in person, to make a plan for how to manage her assets over the next few years.
I have been trying to talk with mom about her house. I’ve explained to her that:
- She filed a quitclaim deed on the house 3 years ago, and that it is in all three of her children’s names.
- I reminded her that she wanted the quitclaim this in case she had a bad fall and ended up in a nursing home for an extended period of time (this was her idea – not our prompting in the least).
- There’s a little over 2 more years to go until Medicare’s lookback period in Massachusetts expires.
- If she sells the house now, the sale will be in our names, not hers. If she wants to go ahead with the sale, we will have to figure out how to transfer the house back to her now or the sale funds back to her later.
- If we sell now, then Medicare won’t help out until all her assets are depleted including the money from the sale of the house, whether it’s in our names or hers.
Mom doesn’t want to wait until my brother’s return later this month to speak to her lawyer so she said she is going to meet with him herself. She seems to be in a hurry to sell…she said to me on the phone yesterday that she “doesn’t have time to wait for his next visit”…but she wouldn’t tell me what the rush was. Mind you, my dad’s house isn’t near ready yet at all for her to move in.
She did say she was afraid she hadn’t included my brother on the quitclaim, and was really agitated about how his feelings would be terribly hurt by that. I think in retrospect this was her reason for wanting to speak to the lawyer sooner than my brother’s visit.
I tried to convey that there’s no rush to sell, and that no one is trying to keep her from selling her house. I also reassured her that all three children were on the deed, but she didn’t seem to believe me. I ended the phone conversation with her feeling very frustrated, like she wasn’t telling me all the facts and was being sneaky about something again.
I’ve contacted my brother and sister to gauge if they’d like to meet with the lawyer on my brother’s next trip home. Mom didn’t answer when I called her yesterday, so I’ll give her a call again today and check in.